What’s a Non-Alphabet White Guy to Do?

Melissa Reitze is the Executive Assistant and Office Manager of the Maine State Republican Party.  I met her for the first time yesterday.  I stopped by the office on Higgins Street.  She told a volunteer of mine last week on the phone that I’m a “homophobe.”

I chose not to mention that fact.

I was there to ask about two things.  Another volunteer of mine, my Director of Voter Lists, requested the statewide Republican voter list on Thursday.  Melissa told her that the list is available to Republican candidates, but not without going through a bureaucratic process.  I wanted more detail on the process.

Here is what I learned:

— Permission must be obtained from the National Republican Party.  I asked for the name of the person I should contact at the National Party to find out when my request would be approved.

— Permission must be obtained from Jason Savage, leader of the Maine Republican Party.

— A top secret form must be filled out and submitted.  Melissa rudely forbade me from obtaining a copy of the form, taking time to read the legal liturgy out loud to me until I threatened to puke on her desk (not really).  But she did read a bunch of legal drivel to me to make some kind of point.  Not sure what it was.

— Jason Savage must create a login for ONE member of my campaign.  All persons granted access to the database must go through this process individually.

I asked Melissa how long it is going to take to get permission to access the database.  She hinted it may take weeks.  I just learned of the list days ago.  I should have been in there a year ago when I announced my intention to run for Governor as a Republican.  Alas.

But how long should it take for a candidate with my profile in Maine to get a login to a database?   Oh yea.  Never. 

I’m a “homophobe.”

And it makes me feel really safe as a Republican candidate for Governor of Maine to know that the Trump loving “married” lesbian, Sharon P. Bemis, is the national party’s official Election Integrity State Director for Maine.  I wonder if she’s the one who must grant me permission to use the list.

It’s a real shame that Sharon is so powerless up against the white male Christian guy.  She’s so discriminated against.  I feel really bad for her.

Pivoting away from the uncomfortable discussion with Melissa about the voter list I brought up the rule eleven discussion.  I asked her to tell me what rule eleven does.  She searched on her laptop intently for nearly five minutes while I stood and watched.  Came up with nothing.

She picked up her cellphone and called a nameless other.  They talked for a couple minutes.  Just before she hung up Melissa ominously spoke into the phone, “You do know who I am talking with don’t you?”

She hung up and proceeded to tell me that rule eleven was waived in the late spring of 2021 by the top three leaders of the Maine GOP so that negotiations could commence between multiple state and national entities regarding who the party would make their nominee.  The primary election was, basically, cancelled by a vote of three individuals with power in the party — Demi Kousianikis, Joshua Tardy and Ellie Espling.  This was done over the objections of a significant number of State Party Committee members.

As you know, if you read Friday’s post on Paul LePage, he told me personally on Thursday night — at a Republican Clean Election fund raiser — that the ONLY reason rule eleven was waived was to get seventeen million dollars from the national party.  I asked him if he was spending it on his primary election.  He said he isn’t, and that the money will be available to the nominee after the primary election.

Melissa told me that she knew nothing about that.  Smart woman.  She has no interest in standing on the tracks of this oncoming train wreck.

Lastly, I received second hand testimony yesterday from a party insider that, “There isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that Heath’s name will appear on that June ballot.”

Maybe so, maybe no.

We’ll all know soon enough.